The missing link?

So a friend and I were talking the other day about how women...well most women...put pretty much all their love into their boyfriend/husband and how most guys don't.  And also why do mostly all guys not voice their emotions/feelings?  Not that we communicate about most things never mind those...how are we wired so differently?
Most guys get freaked out...me being one of'em...if a girl is fast on the trigger when they first start to date...and I don't mean sexually.  I was on a second date with this girl who is a good friend of mine now...and she called me out on  it...she said "your a flight risk aren't you!?"  And I was honest and admitted to it...I am...I get freaked out by someone liking me to fast!  I enjoy having someone to wake up next to...I enjoy spending time with them...but after thinking about it...I'm a very independent person and I don't want to lose that and I'm scared of commitment.  I've been burned twice now and I'm scared of it happening again.  But when will I know if I find the right person!?  Maybe I already did.
Now why is it women put 100% into it yet the guy usually never does!? I've tried to figure this out for myself...with no luck...but why is it!?  I'm sure it's not how nice of a guy he is...I'm sure that helps...but most girls get treated like shit and idk...seem to like it...but is it cause he's good in bed...smells nice...is handsome!?  They adhere to our needs...wants and pleasures...yet in return they usually get squat.  The guy usually sits his fat ass down and doesn't do anything.  And thats another thing...since when is it ok for the girl to look good and stay in shape...but the guy can be a fat shit!?  That one blows my mind!  If he's not gonna respect himself...respect her!  Anyways the woman cleans...cooks...food shops...takes care of the kids...at what point are they fed up with it or do they just feel that since her mom did it this way they must have to!?  He's a grown ass man...he can do all the above...they're skills he should already know how to do...maybe not so much the cooking but it's not foreign the directions are in english!! 
What is the dysfunction in guys with communication!?  I must admit I was terrible at this...I'd let things bottle up inside then have a mental break down!  Thanks to therapy I've actually learned to just talk about whatever's on my mind and it make matters a million times better!  But its the simplest thing just to talk about whats going on or needs or wants...yet idk...its like we're wired wrong.  It just seems that theres this missing link between men and women and nobody knows how to fix it.