7 years bad luck...

Ever wonder what people see in you...I was actually just wondering this. What do people see in me!? I feel that my mirror's cracked so it's hard for me to tell...I feel that I'm damaged and corrupted. I don't mean to sound negative...but after everything I've been through and the things I've done it's really hard for me to tell. I'm told I'm cute...nice and funny from people that don't know me...but would their perception of me change if they knew!? I don't know...maybe I'm looking into it too much. When I meet people I'm me...I don't put on a show or am fake...so when you meet me it's who I am.
I say I don't judge people in a joking way...but I really don't. We all have a past and that's one thing we cannot change. I know plenty of people who have done things you could only imagine and have had things done to them which is unimaginable. But that was then and this is now. I certainly would not hold anything against anyone...I have no right to. We all know I have my demons and I'm glad they're hibernating now...hopefully permanently! I'm very upfront with things once I get to know someone. Unfortunately I have put people through hell because of them and it's hard for them to understand.
I've always liked the saying "try walking a mile in their shoes" because it's true. I think I've had it rough but there's always someone who's had it worse than I have. You never know how it is unless you've been in that situation. I always thought I was the strongest person I knew...mentally. But once everything was taken away from me look what happened! As much as I try to explain to people why I can't get out of bed...talk...smile or do the simplest thing they'll never understand. I know it hurts them and I know they suffer because of me...because of my demons...but they'll never understand. I guess that's a good thing though...I wouldn't want them to.